


Sasuke: House Husband Extraordinaire

by Melissa_lee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23342062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melissa_lee/pseuds/Melissa_lee
Summary: With his wife being the Hokage, someone’s got to run the household.  That someone is him.This is a story of his domestic life told in a series of shorts (400 words or less).This is a crackfic
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 82
Kudos: 375





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Super Super Ramen Sale

* * *

  
Opening the cupboard, he looked forlornly at the empty shelf. _Damn, we’re out of ramen._ He inwardly berated himself. He was usually on top of things.

Grabbing his eco-friendly grocery bag, he headed for the market. Just his luck, it was a super sale day. He cringed at the thought of encountering an overzealous obasan. They could be down right savage when it came to sale items. He hastened his stride to the packaged convenient food aisle. _Please. Please. Please_. There was one value pack left. He was just about there. 

“Back off Uchiha that ramen is mine!”

Clutching his shopping basket tighter, he narrowed his eyes at Karui. Although he loathed the high sodium artificial-flavored filled crap, his dear wife loved it. And he loves his wife goddamnit. Plus, she was always **_extra_** appreciative whenever he prepared it for her. _Hmm.. now is about the right time to start working on making baby number three._

His eyes ignited with determination _. Back off bitch, that ramen is mine!_

Karui stepped back instinctively at the sudden oppressing dark aura. Before she realized it, Sasuke already plucked the pack and deposited it into his basket. She turned to look at his expression of triumph. Hmph. _That fucker_ _._

Walking off, he held an expression of cool detachment. Inside however, he was cackling _. I’m getting some tonight!_


	2. Laundry Day

He made his way to the changing room to gather the dirty laundry. He peered down at the basket and paused. _Naruto’s white cotton panties!_ They laid innocently on top of the pile beckoning him. He took a furtive glance to the side before plucking it out. Bringing it to his nose, he inhaled deeply. So lost in bliss, he failed to notice the pitter-patter of small feet.   


Two mini carbon copies stared up at himwith black deadpanned eyes. With lightning speed he stuffed the garment back into the basket.

“Father, what are you doing?” His eldest son asked.

_Uh, think quickly they’re getting suspicious._ He put on the most serious expression he could muster. “I’m checking for freshness. I wasn’t sure if the laundry was mixed up..” He gave himself a mental pat on the back. _Che, you kids are thirty years too early. I practically invented the deadpanned look_.

His eldest didn’t look convinced. _Oh t_ _he indignity..._  
  



	3. An Overzealous Welcome

He kneeled at the entrance waiting dutifully for his wife. Finger tips on the floor in a perfect point, his superb posture putting a Yamato Nadeshiko to shame.

“I’m home,” announced Naruto slightly fatigued.

He received his dear wife lovingly, “Welcome home.” He added seemingly innocuous, “I prepared a bath for you.”

Unaware of her husband’s lascivious intentions, she beamed back, “Thanks!”

* * *

  
She sat on the bath stool and washed out the last traces of conditioner out of her hair. Gathering her golden tresses in front of her shoulder, she was about to scrub her back when suddenly she felt her fine hairs rise in ominous foreboding.

He kneeled behind her in a flash. “I’ll wash your back for you,” he whispered roughly in her ear.

She was stunned for a few moments before getting her bearings. “Hey,” she protested indignantly, “That’s not my back!... And... why are you naked?!”

He was beaming. “Prepare yourself Naruto.”

* * *

  
  
Humming merrily, he watched his wife make her way unsteadily to the breakfast table, her gait not quite straight and her legs trembling. Massaging her lower back in attempt to ease her sore muscles she pointed at him accusingly. “Are you satisfied, teme!?”

He looked like the cat that caught the canary. “Quite,” he smirked as he went back to stirring the miso. 


	4. Blocked

Lightning crashed erratically outside illuminating the room in a violent burst of white light. Her sun-kissed skin and golden locks took on a moonlit glow that looked incredibly delectable against the dramatic backdrop. The storm brewing outside paled in comparison to the storm brewing inside Sasuke. _The things I’m going to do to you.._. Heavy with desire to possess her, he pounced—

“Mama!!” A shriek came from down the hall. 

She was on her feet in an instant and left the master bedroom in a haste. He met air as he landed comically on the now unoccupied space of their bed. 

Moments later Naruto came back with two in tow: their four-year-old on her hip and their six-year-old clasping her hand. He could have sworn he saw a smirk on his eldest son’s face.

* * *

  
  
The boys finally settled down contentedly, each having their mother’s arm to snuggle. She looked over to him. “You’re pouting” she said slightly amused.

“Am not.” he moped his lips pursed.


	5. Handled Like an OG

It was a particularly warm spring day. Sasuke just finished picking up Tadashi from daycare and Taiichi from kindergarten. 

Tadashi wiggled his dangling legs excitedly. “Papa, Papa! Popsicles please?" he asked while pointing to the convenience store. 

He easily acquiesced. “Go ahead you two, make your choices,” he smiled warmly and set his youngest down. They passed a few teenagers near the frozen section. 

“Look what I got here! It’s the latest edition.”

Sasuke wasn’t particularly eavesdropping.

“So who’s the hottest?”

He rolled his eyes. _Typical_ —

“Hands down,”one began.  
“The Hokage!” The trio said in unison.

Sasuke’s eye twitched. _Those little shits..._

“Yeah I know right?” the boy chirped. He listed, “Face of an angel. Body of a goddess. I can go on and on.”

_Twitch twitch._

The ringleader made an obscene cupping gesture in front of his chest. “Especially her oppai. I swear, they’re F-cups,” he hooted.   
  
Sasuke just about popped a blood vessel. He turned to his sons, his voice eerily-calm, “Taiichi, how about taking your little brother and grabbing some Pocky? Daddy has something to take care of.”

“Yes father.”

A moment later a trio of pubescent boys were seen fleeing, screaming something about a red-eyed demon.

* * *

  
Finished with their purchases, he poked their foreheads affectionately. “Let’s head home you two. I’m preparing hamburger steak.”


	6. Lunch with Love

Glancing around surreptitiously, she uncovered the first layer of her bento. _Please be normal. Please be normal._ She breathed a sigh of relief. Omelette rolls, potato salad, petite sausages, and croquettes: all deliciously normal nothing embarrassing here. She then lifted the last layer and turned a brilliant shade of red upon seeing its contents. There was nothing wrong with the rice per say; it was the way it was displayed. She looked down to see a chorus of pickled ginger in the shape of hearts and a curious message written out using black sesame seeds— **I love you.**

 **  
**She covered her blushing face. Overwhelmed with emotion, her eyes misted over. _Sasuke, you dummy._


	7. Day at the Beach

The sunlight reflected off of the ocean’s surface, fracturing the light into thousands of sparkling beacons. White sand, clear skies, it was a sight to behold. They had finally arrived at the beach.

Desiring to shield her, the boys flanked her side, while Sasuke guarded her from the front. His wife took her oath solemnly and dedicated herself to protecting and leading the village. Consequently, she was rarely able to take time off. He’d be damned if an overzealous fan encroached on their precious family time.  
  
Surveying the area, he found a clear spot. “Let’s put the beach umbrella here.” Naruto drove the parasol into the sand and he unfolded and set up the beach chairs. He was just about to settle in. “Naruto,” he began. He heard a rustle of clothing. In his peripheral vision, he saw her track jacket folded neatly on the chair. He turned to face her to discuss the first activity, but was stunned into silence. His eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the sight of her.

“Father, your nose is bleeding.”

Sasuke covertly wiped his nose. “Don’t worry, daddy’s fine. It’s just the heat.” _  
_

The teeny-tiny-tangerine bikini barely covered anything. He took a quick survey of their surroundings and sure enough, the beach crawled with beady-eyed pervs ogling his precious and innocent wife. He glowered menacingly at the lot. _Beady-eyed fuckers._ It seems they were getting bold; his death glare did little to ward off their leering.

Rummaging through the tote, he found what he was looking for. In a move too swift for any to see, he dressed her in a grey high-collared shirt.   
  
“Sasuke,” she protested, “I’m too hot.”

”Exactly. Which is why you need to wear this,” he stated while zipping the collar all the way to her chin.


	8. Hanami

“Bento and utensils, check... sake, juice, and dango, check.Picnic blanket... check.”He paused and looked back, “Let’s go you two! We’re meeting mommy at the park.”

* * *

  
He had just finished setting up the picnic spread when he spotted her in his peripheral vision.

Her white cloak billowed gently behind her. The midday sun hit her form highlighting her face while casting a glow upon her golden hair. The fully-bloomed blossoms appeared like pink clouds above her adding to the ethereal ambience. Fully facing her direction, he could only gaze unabashedly. His heart thumped with even more vigor. 

“Mama!” Taiichi and Tadashi broke out into a run. She lovingly scooped them up in her arms and smiled ever so tenderly. 

Reflecting upon his past self, he could have never fathom this reality. He shuddered to think of the past. He nearly succumbed to the darkness, and it was only by her light and love, that he was saved. Naruto was there unrelenting and triumphant, refusing to forsake him. It sobered and humbled him. Watching his family, he could only think about how truly lucky he is.

She made her way to him quite impressed.Glancing at the picnic spread, she gushed excitedly, “Wow, every thing looks amazing!You really went all out.”

He puffed out his chest in pride enjoying her praise.

* * *

  
She rested her back against the cherry tree and patted her thigh beckoning him. Her cheeks and nose were dusted in a light flush; she was pleasantly buzzed. He smoothly laid his head on her lap. _Naruto’s lap pillow_. His inner fanboy was reeling.

Together, they watched their boys attempt to catch ephemeral-fluttering petals. She gently tousled his fringe. “I love you, Sasuke,” she whispered before dozing off.

Reaching up, he caressed her face lovingly.In a hushed tone he lamented, “You’re probably extra tired because of me.”He paused and watched as she smiled in her sleep, and curled into the warmth of his palm. “But when you make a face like that, I can’t help myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Hanami refers to the annual viewing of cherry blossoms during springtime.


	9. Green-eyed Monster

He observed the ominous clouds brewing outside. “It’s going to rain,” he muttered. He then chanced a glance towards the front and noticed that her umbrella laid forgotten at the entrance. “This won’t do.” He couldn’t let his precious wife catch a cold.   
  


* * *

Sasuke made his way to her office. He paused before the door, hearing a dreadful voice.   
  
“Naruto, I’m thinking of hosting the summit.” 

_What’s this? Acting so familiar with my wife. That’s Hokage better yet, Mrs. Uchiha to the likes of you_. He burst into her office. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto chirped happily albeit surprised.

Clearing his throat Gaara continued, “before our meeting was interrupted,” he took a moment to glare pointedly at Sasuke, “I wanted to extend the invitation for you to stay at my villa during the summit.”

_Oh hell no_! “ **We** are pleased to accept your invitation,” Sasuke interjected through clenched teeth. 

“I didn’t invite you.”

Seeming oblivious, she stood up. Naruto rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, “I’m stepping out for a moment, there are some documents I need. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

  
“What are you doing here anyway?Shouldn’t you be mending a shirt or something,” taunted Gaara. 

Sasuke’s brow twitched in annoyance. _Che! You can only dream of it_. With all the smugness he could muster he replied, “Not that it’s any of your business, but **my** **wife** happened to forget her umbrella from **our** house.” _Time for the killing blow_. “You know where she and I live with our two kids and a ‘third,’ which she and I are actively working on.” ****

“Uchiha Sasuke!” He spat the name as if it was a curse.

_Bring it on!_

**Bam!** Shikamaru opened the door with urgency. “Hokage-sama, is everything alright? I sensed killer intent...”He watched as the two glared daggers at each other.With a sigh of annoyance, he relaxed his shoulders into a shrug. “Oh, it’s only you two... how bothersome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love Gaara by the way. On a cultural note, in Japan, titles and honorifics are extremely important not to mention complex. You just don’t go casually calling someone’s first name. Doing that implies a great degree of closeness among other things.


	10. Anniversary

  
_Seven years ago_

It was their wedding night and he painstakingly waited for this moment. He barely managed to restrain himself when every fiber of his being longed for her. Hiding behind a stoic mask and biting remarks, he was able to keep himself from practically jumping her and subsequently kept their relationship chaste. He smoothed the wrinkle forming between his brows. _I’m past my limit._ The bride however, comically fell asleep from exhaustion from the day’s events. Sasuke chuckled warmly. “It’s so like you.” His fingertips lingered on her cheek while his thumb traced the outline of her bottom lip. _God you’re beautiful_.  


Naruto suddenly stirred from her sleep, her lashes fluttered open in surprise. “Sasuke...” Finally fully aware, she flushed in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep, so what do we do now?” she innocently inquired.

“Why are you apologizing? In fact, I’m glad you rested up as I have no intention on letting you sleep.”

”Eh?”

Her eyes widened in alarm and she felt as if she was his prey. His obsidian eyes gleamed voraciously. He unraveled the the side tie of her nagajuban(1).

「いただきます ♡! 」(2)

* * *

_Later that night_

  
“Is your body okay?” 

She nodded her head in response. Even with only the moon as their source of light, he could tell that the tips of her ears were flushed. He lowered his voice and heatedly whispered, “another round”. In response she seemed to shiver.

He nuzzled the nape of her neck and kissed the space between her shoulder blades. 

“I want at least five,” he whispered against her ear.

She tilted her head back, “Five?”

“Babies of course” he replied as a matter of fact. The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk. “Let’s work hard from now on!”

* * *

_Present_

Feeling a gentle sensation on her cheek, her lashes fluttered open. He leaned over her as his palm supported the side of his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to awaken you,” he said while lightly caressing her cheek. “You look so vulnerable. I can’t resist your sleeping face.” She had the sudden feeling of deja vu.

Her face flushed red all the way to the tips of her ears. She glanced over at the clock. 2AM. It’s seven years today and he still made her blush. “Happy anniversary” her voice was still heavy from sleep.

Elated he murmured the words back to her. Dropping his voice an octave lower, he whispered,  「いただきます！」

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) nagajuban- underwear used under a kimono  
> (2) いただきます- itadakimasu; to humbly receive; an expression used before you eat; normally used in the context of food sometimes used as an innuendo


	11. Pink Again?!

Naruto nodded off drowsily at her desk and slapped her cheeks in attempt to wake up. She lamented her current condition; her back was sore and her boobs were achy and she was extremely tired— more so than usual. “Sasuke...” she grumbled. He had been unrelenting. “Hey Kurama,” she directed a whisper towards her stomach, “give me a boost will ya”.

“Hah!? I refuse. Besides,“ he paused, “the result of what you’re feeling is self-inflicted. By the way,” he continued, “the state of your body has changed. Thanks to the surge in girlie hormones, the walls of my dwelling are ugh, pink!”

“Pink you say? But that only happens when I’m preg...”

“Congratulations Gaki” he interrupted.“You’re knocked up.”


	12. Caught

He placed the steaming cup of ramen in front of her. Not a second later, she blanched at the mere sight of it and covered her nose and mouth as if she was exposed to noxious fumes. Deciding to tease her more he said, “it’s best to eat it quickly, otherwise the noddles will become soggy.”

Getting up abruptly, she muttered excuse me and practically ran while covering her mouth. 

As soon as she fled the dining room, his lips curved into a triumphant smirk. “Caught you.”

Although she was known for being the most unpredictable ninja in the shinobi world, her signs of pregnancy were always predictable. Food cravings: tomatoes. Food aversion: ramen. The other night, he put triple the amount of tomatoes in her salad and sure enough, she gobbled it up. And even more telling, she was already a week and a half late. Naturally he would know. After all he bought and kept stock of her supplies and did all the laundry.

He proceeded to follow her to the bathroom where he saw Taiichi pat her back.Turning sharply, Taiichi stared up in accusation. “Father, somehow I have a feeling that Father is responsible for this.”

_What an astute child_. 

“Don’t worry Mama is fine,” she reassured. 

“Taiichi Daddy will take it from here.”   
  
She peered up at him, tears formed at the corner of her eyes. Taking a tissue he gently dabbed the tears and wiped the corner of her mouth. Gathering her in his arms, he whispered against the crown of her head, “I got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, kudos and to all who take the time to read this story!
> 
> Pregnancy food cravings and aversions can be truly strange. Normally I love strawberries but when I was pregnant with my youngest the mere smell made me sick.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry! I had this ridiculous idea and had to write it down. Thank you for reading!


End file.
